


It's always been you

by Talentedbind



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Future Fic, M/M, Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 21:02:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9257141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talentedbind/pseuds/Talentedbind
Summary: Stiles is doing okay in life. He left Beacon Hills and all it's crazy behind. Went to college and even made somewhat of a career for himself. All in all he seems to be doing fine. Or that's how he is supposed to be be feeling. In all truth he hasn't been happy in a long time. But for the life of him he can't figure why he isn't. Then one night he realizes he still has feelings for Derek. Whom he hasn't seen for at least ten years,





	

It was a cold, late November day. Actually it wasn’t really that cold compared to winters in Boston. But this was California so everything below the mid-fifties felt damn cold. He stepped into the cafe they were supposed to meet up. He was early, way early. But he was nervous, so he came early. He had not yet decided whether or not that was a good idea. Whether or not this whole thing was a good idea. He sat down on one of the table’s close to the window and the back wall. He softly laughed when he realized where he sat down. He figured it was a habit that would never die. He looked down the street, looking for Derek. But as suspected he wasn’t anywhere in sight yet.

One of the baristas approached him. “Have you made a decision yet?”

“No not yet, I’m waiting on someone but he might be awhile.”

“Alright, I will be back when he arrives.”

“Thank you.” She turned around and Stiles was left alone with his thoughts.

His life was pretty normal right now. For as far as normal goes. They had gotten through senior year. He had been accepted to his top 5 universities and even to a few he didn’t even apply for. He strongly suspected Lydia had something to do with that. The fact that he to had to make a choice had freaked him out. He hadn’t want to leave his friends, his dad. He felt responsible for what happened in Beacon Hills. Didn’t think that the town would survive if some supernatural creature came knocking on the door again. But in the end he chose to go to MIT. He needed to leave Beacon Hills. After everything that happened he needed the distance.

So he and Lydia left for MIT. He left his dad with pain in his heart. Called him every day. He was glad that Lydia came with him. That someone was there that understood him. Someone that he could call if the nightmares just got too ugly. Someone that pushed him to strive for greatness, or at least excellence.

Because of course Lydia was running the show from the moment she arrived. She exceled at everything she touched. Double majored in Astronautics and Behavioral Science. She flourished while away from Beacon Hills. Her demons still haunted her but she learned to deal. And her succeeding, and of course her pushing him, helped. Helped him find a major and a minor he actually liked, instead of one he thought he should like. He took classes in all available fields and in the end decided on a major in Literature and a minor in Computer Science.

After he got his bachelor he moved to San Jose and started freelance writing for some tech magazines. He loved the location. Close enough to his dad for him to be able to visited regularly, but far enough away to not be sucked back in to the soap opera drama that was Beacon Hills. He also started making tech review vlogs and started writing his first novel. He already found a small publishing house that was willing to publish his book when finished. So all things considered live was supposed to be good. And he was happy, at least kind of.

It just so was he didn’t feel truly happy or content. He always felt like something was missing from his life. Something that was nagging in the back of his mind. He had tries to fill the gap with a whole assortment of things over the years. There had been booze, countless hook-ups, throwing himself at any supernatural occurrence in the surrounding area, extreme work-out schedules, classes for extra credit and at some point even drugs. Although he didn’t really like them, so that was a short stint. But whatever he tried it didn’t seem to fix the hole inside of him.

A few weeks ago he had met up with Scott. They were still close friends, but not as great as they used to be. Scott had chosen to stay in Beacon Hills. He couldn’t leave his pack, even though most of them left him to go to college. But he made it work. He got his degree in veterinarian sciences and work at Deaton’s animal clinic. Got married to April, a girl he met in college, and they now had a beautiful baby. The baby was the reason he went to visit Scott. He had only seen pictures so he decided that it was time to finally meet the kid. And that was when it happened.

Melissa had recently finally moved in with his dad. The two had been dating for over 3 years now. And when she moved out of her house she had found a box containing old pictures of Scott. And in turn Scott had shown him the pictures. There were a lot of pictures of them together. Kindergarten, elementary, middle school, high school, trips vacations, lazy summer days, Christmases spend together, Lego castles and Lacrosse wins. Their whole life neatly stacked in a box. They had flipped through the photo’s together. Telling April about their childhood, about how close they once were. She herself was a born wolf and was horrified at the story of how Scott got turned, even though she must have heard it before. And while Scott was telling a very animated story about finding the kanima he threw some of the photos on the ground. Stiles stooped to pick them up when he saw the picture. It was a picture of the old pack. Stiles couldn’t even remember when it was taken. In the picture where Isaac, Boyd, Erica and Scott laying on the floor in the abandoned train station. They looked worn down, like they had been training whole afternoon. But that wasn’t what got his attention. In the corner stood he and Derek. He seemed to be talking with a lot of hand gestures and Derek was laughing. Derek freaking sour wolf Hale was laughing. Not making fun at him just laughing, and it seemed like they were having a good time. Stiles couldn’t remember this moment, couldn’t even remember them being this close, ever. And in spite of that it felt liked the pieces in his head finally clicked in place.  

He hadn’t seen Derek in almost 11 years, but he missed him. He barely thought about Derek anymore but now he felt like he couldn’t bare the separation any longer. Like the floodgates had opened and the feelings came flooding in. Feelings for Derek Hale, whom he hadn’t seen in over 11 years.

He had hastily left Scott’s place. He couldn’t fall asleep the following night. He had kept tossing and turning and when he finally fell asleep he couldn’t help but dream about Derek. The following morning he tried to shrug it off. I mean, this was weird, right!? Great, now he had started talking to himself. But it was weird. He hadn’t seen Derek in 11 years. 11 years was a long ass time. He had been thinking about Derek from time to time. But nothing to out of the ordinary. Just occasionally, and more of a reminiscing the past kind of thing. Nothing Derek specific. So he tried to put his feelings aside.

He started working on a new piece for one of the magazines. He did some research wrote half of the piece but then he started thinking again. He didn’t know where Derek lived, or what he was doing. Last he heard he was that he had met up with Isaac in France but he had left Isaac within a month. And that had been at least 7 years ago. No one in the pack had heard from him afterwards. They had kept in contact with Isaac though. But that didn’t give him any clues about Derek’s whereabouts.

So he started skewering on the internet for clue’s. He looked into the database of the USPS, which may or may not have been a tad illegal. And like he suspected he had found several P.O. boxes in the name of Derek Hale. It took some time figuring out which one was the one of _his_ Derek Hale. In the end he found three that were probably his. He couldn’t figure out why anyone would have 3 P.O. boxes, but somehow it seemed like a very Derek thing to do. But the moment he found the information he got doubts. It was kinda weird and creepy what he was doing. So he had put  the information aside and tried to finish the article. But every time he tried to focus he saw the note he made with the addresses on it. He couldn’t make a decision on what to do. On the one hand he wanted, needed to see Derek. On the other hand he was afraid that he would get sucked back into his old life. His Beacon Hills life with all his craziness. But he was also afraid he was just using that as an excuse not to do it. But in the end his fear won. He took the note and put it in his bottom desk drawer and he thought that was the last of it.

And it had been the last of it. Or at least until one day Derek had called him out of the blue. He had been so startled that he hadn’t said a thing. Derek had repeated his name several times and Stiles had just thrown the phone on the horn. Five minutes later Derek had called him again and he had just kept still after he had said his name. It had taken Stiles at least five minutes before he could finally say something. And it had just been a lame “ _Hi.”_ Derek later on had made a joke about how this was probably the longest time that he had heard Stiles say nothing. The had talked for a bit when Stiles had finally found the courage to ask Derek why he had called. It all seemed so random. Derek had laughed and asked whether or not he had been serious. And the he dropped a line about a note in his P.O. box, that was the moment Stiles finally remember what had happened.

A few weeks after he had looked up the P.O. box he had gone out drinking with a couple of college friends. They were in town for some sort of conference and decide that they should meet up. And they had done there college days proud. So after a good nights’ drinking, he had come home with Derek on his mind. He picked up the note from the bottom drawer of his desk and decided he should do something about the situation. So he had written three similar notes that said something along the lines of; _long time no see, wanna meet up, here you have my number._ He send them to the three P.O. boxes and went to bed. The next morning he didn’t remember he had sent Derek the notes.

And that was how Derek got his phone number.

 

He got ripped out of his memories when someone touched his shoulder. He turned around and laid eyes on Derek. He looked older and somehow completely the same. He looked like time had done him good, like he had finally grown into himself in some weird way. 

“Derek, .. hi” He stammered “Hey, you look great, almost thought you wouldn’t be coming though.”

Derek looked at him and give him a look that very clearly read _“are you serious right now_ “. The look was accompanied by a grunt that, if you listen very closely, could be interpreted as his name.

“Wow, alright, you still haven’t lost the grunting I see.” As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Derek looked at him in a very intense and intimidating way. He took a deep breath and shook his head at Stiles. “No it’s okay, you are right, let me do that again.” He walked back a few steps and walked towards Stiles again. Stiles looked at him with a sense of bewilderment. Derek’s features softened and he looked back at Stiles with a look that could only be descripted as fond. “Hi Stiles.”

He took a deep breath. “Derek.” And he breathed out while smiling. He stood up and embraced Derek. Derek let him do it and even reciprocate the hug. And in that moment Stiles world felt right. Like all this time he had been holding his breath and now he could breath. Like all this time a piece of himself had been missing and finally that piece had returned. “It’s so good to see you, like you have no idea.”

Derek took a step back, while still keeping his hands on Stiles, so he could look him in the eye. “I think I do have some idea.”

The moment was ruined when the barista from earlier decided to make an entrance. “I see your friend _finally_ arrived.” Derek looked up and almost snarled at her. And Stiles had to make an effort to hold in the giggle he felt coming up. The waitress sighed but continued talking in a way that clearly conveyed that she was annoyed for whatever reason. “ _Soo,_ did you make a choice?”

Before Stiles could from his first word, Derek cut him off. He was surprisingly polite for the situation. “Yes we would like the biggest of one of those holiday specials you have and make the to go, please.”

Stiles looked at Derek surprised. “How did you know what I wanted to order?”

Derek looked at him and smiled. “I might not have seen you for a while, but you always liked sugary, milky and Christmassy things. So I couldn’t go wrong there.” A faint blush appeared on his face. “Do you mind if we go somewhere else? I don’t feel like we could really talk here.”

“Yeah sure, do you want to go back to my place? It’s just around the corner. Well not really actually, but it is close enough.”

Derek nodded. “If you are okay with me being there.” Stiles looked at him affirmative. “Alright, yeah that seem like a plan.”

They waited in a comfortable silence until they could pick up there coffee. Nothing could be said right now. It could wait until they were on their own. And it finally hit Stiles that Derek was really here. Just to visit him. And that calmed his nerves a bit about what was to come.

 

He opened the door to his apartment and he realized that he had left a mess. He hadn’t expected to take Derek home with him. He blushed. “Can you please give me a minute? I just need to put away some stuff.” Derek nodded and Stiles sprinted through. It wasn’t an as big of a mess as he had previously believed so it only took him a minute to put a few things away. The apartment look relatively decent and he decided that that was it for the moment. “Okay, I’m done, you can come in now.”

Derek came in through the hallway door. He looked around and after what seemed like a thorough examining of the space he looked back at Stiles. “This place is exactly how I thought it would be.” Stiles laughed. “It doesn’t look anything like my teenage room though.”

“No it doesn’t, but it still feels like you. Books and notes everywhere. The place reeks of coffee. Your collection of nerd stuff. You even got a dozen of red pin points here. It all is just so you.”

Stiles blushed. It was nice that Derek seemed to think that he still knew Stiles. That time hadn’t changed him. That he was still the same loud mouth, fear nothing kid that Derek had known back in the day.  But he wasn’t. Life had put a toll on him. And he also learned a lot. He just wasn’t the same. And for some reason he needed Derek to know that. “I have also changed a lot.” He meant to say it like a statement, but it came out more like a question.

“I know Stiles. And that is a good thing. You evolved. You grew up. But I’m also happy that you haven’t changed entirely.”

They were silent for a beat. Derek looked at him with something that could only be described as something between wonder and fondness and it made Stiles want to look away.

“Should we sit down?” Derek asked him.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry. I’m such a terrible host. You can put your coat over there.” He said while he pointed at the coatrack in the hallway. “Do you want something to drink?”

Derek was getting out of his coat. “Yeah that would be nice, I will just have whatever you are having.”

Stiles made them drink and nervously sat down on the opposite site of the couch Derek was already siting on.

“It’s just orange juice, I never expect you to come over here. Otherwise I would have gotten you something different. What would you like to have next time you come over. Just tell me so I can get it for you. I mean if you want to come over a next time. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t…”

Derek looked at him amused. “Slow down Stiles, orange juice is just fine. Just take a breath, we will be just fine.”

Stiles nodded and did what he was told. The whole thing was just awkward, Stiles thought while he was standing in the kitchen. He wasn’t paying attention to what he was doing and spilled the juice. Silently he muttered a curse and tried to sweep the juice up with a dishcloth. He didn’t notice Derek until he was swept up in his arms. He turned around and returned the hug. Derek was combing his fingers through Stiles’ hair. “Just breath Stiles, we will be fine. Just breath.” Stiles felt himself sagging into Derek. It was weird how much he felt he depended on Derek right now. He felt like his feelings had just gone haywire. Derek just let him hug him very fiercely. And for a while Stiles was content. But as always that only lasted a few minutes. He began wondering whether  his feelings were real or if there was something going on. And after all he had been through, who could blame him. He felt his heart rate going up just thinking about it. Derek heard it as well. “What just happened?”

Stiles took a step back, he had to look Derek in the eye’s for this. Needed to know what the other man was thinking. At moments like this he sur think it would be better e would love the whole werewolf senses package. He took a deep breath and gathered the courage to ask Derek the question on his mind. “Derek, what is going on? Is this real or just something supernatural?”

Derek looked back at him and Stiles could feel that there was something going on.

“Can we sit down? I think it would be better if we sat down for this.”

“Is it that bad? God, it’s that bad, isn’t it?”

“Let’s just sit down. It probably isn’t as bad as you think right now.”

Stiles walked the few steps to the couch in a haze. Of course this was his life again. How in the hell did he ever think he could escape it. He thought of all the things he let go over the years in order to stay away from everything supernatural. It all felt so unnecessary right now. He had kept away from Scott from Christ sake to stay away from it all. But 7 years was a good run right, all things considered.

He let Derek set him down on the couch. He couldn’t dare look him in the eye’s. Afraid of what would come. Gosh, why was he this scared. Nothing bad had happened for now right? SO it shouldn’t be that bad.

“Stiles, can you please just look at me? This will be easier if you just look at me.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t face it yet. “I can’t” He felt himself let out a sob. Gosh what was going on, he usually didn’t feel like such a pussy. He felt Derek slide is hand under his chin. Derek pulled his head up so he had to look him in the eye.

“You are okay. It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay, alright?”

He felt himself calm down. “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Derek let go of his head and sat bad a little bit. Stiles immediately felt worried. Especially when Derek cleared his throat.

“You’re my mate, and I’ve known for quite some time now.”

Stiles franticly tried to remember what he knew about mate bonds. And when it hit him, he fainted.

 

 

When he came to, he was laying in his bed. For a second he didn’t remember what had happened and wondered why he was laying in his bed. But then he saw Derek sitting in a chair in the corner, and that brought it all back.

“Stiles..” He started. But Stiles cut him off. “No I get to talk first. How long have you know? I haven’t seen you in ages.” And that was when a thought dawned on him. “Is this why you left? Have you known all this time?”

“Stiles.” Derek started again while he stood up. “I…”

“No, no no no no no no. This isn’t happening.” He stepped out of bed, walked towards Derek and slapped him in the face. “You knew all this time. _ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS_. You knew for eleven goddamn years. And you never came for me. All this time. This is why I couldn’t be happy all this time, isn’t it?”

Derek had just stood there and taken it the whole time. And with everything Stiles had said, he had looked more and more guilty. Stiles just kept on ranting.

“I mean I read it somewhere. Mates can’t life without each other. They need to be close. Without it they would suffer and in severe cases there have been dead’s. How did you ignore that? Why did you ignore that?”

He started crying and sunk back into the bed. He needed to get a handle on the situation. He needed to get a grip on himself. But it all felt so wrong. How had Derek done this to him. To them. Why had he chosen to run away from the situation, from him. He couldn’t handle it. Especially since underneath all that, for the first time in forever he actually felt fine. Content even. Like now that Derek had gotten here everything would be fine. But one important question remained. “Why did you leave us, me?”

“Oh Stiles.” Derek while he sat down next to Stiles on the bed. “I didn’t leave because I didn’t want you. I just wasn’t ready. I couldn’t be the man you need me to be.”

“I didn’t need you to be anything, except here.”

“I know, and that was the thing I couldn’t do. I was so afraid of committing. Of being there. I told myself that you didn’t need me, that you were to young. That our bond wasn’t real. That you weren’t interested in me. That you were only nice to me because you thought you might need me someday. And I told myself that even if you wanted me I couldn’t do it. You were only 16 at the time. You still had you’re entire life in front of you. I wanted you to have a choice. To be able to walk away from it all. To have a normal life. To be happy.”

“But I wasn’t happy.”

“Me neither. In hindsight I shouldn’t have done it. But the more time we were apart, the harder it got for me to go back. That first two years you seemed so unhappy. And you almost got killed several times. I was tempted to go back so many times. To tell you everything. When you went to college it got a bit easier though. You seemed okay. You were discovering yourself, making new friends. You were less and less involved in the supernatural and I decided that you would come to me when you were ready. So I moved out of Boston..”

Stiles felt shocked. Derek had lived in Boston? “Why did you live in Boston? Did you know I was there as well?”

Derek blushed. “I couldn’t let you go completely. I had to know you were okay. And in the beginning I thought that our bond would physically hurt us if we weren’t close enough. But during your 2nd year I decide that it was time for me to move on and get some help. So I moved back to New York. I got in contact with this woman that runs a center from the supernatural youth. I got in therapy and helped her run the center. I also finally got my GED and after that I got into college, got my degree in architecture. I finished two years ago and now I work at a firm in a 9 to 5 job. And in all that time I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It’s okay if you’re going to think I’m a stalker, but I have a google alert on your name. And I let Isaac check in with Scott to find out how you are doing. So I found and read all your articles. But I was most surprised about your vlogs. That was the moment I realized how much I actually missed you. So I started leaving comments and when you reacted I was over the moon. I’m Wölfm3n in case you wondered.”

He paused for a second. But when he noticed that Stiles didn’t react he continued.

“But anyways I moved back to California because I missed the warmer climate and the space. And that was pretty much what I have been up to. I was so happy when I got your note. But just so you know, Scott has my address. He has been to my house a few times now. He even brought his kid and wife. They are so adorable together. So you could have just asked him.”

Stiles didn’t know what to say for a moment. So he stood up and walked towards the living room. “Can you give me a moment to process?” He didn’t give Derek time to answer and closed the door behind him. He walked straight to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of Jack out of one of the cupboards. He poured himself a shot, but halfway through he decided he why bother and drunk it straight out of the bottle. He started pacing through the kitchen. He couldn’t believe this shit. Although he could, the whole thing involved Derek so it made perfect sense. Of fucking course. This was his life. But why though? Why was his life this? What had _he_ done to the universe? He took another swig of Jack. He couldn’t wrap his mind around all this. He had so many questions. So he stormed out through the kitchen, through the living room, straight to his bedroom. He violently opened the door and almost shouted his question at Derek. “Why didn’t I feel the bond though?’

“We haven’t really bonded yet. I left before we could. And my senses are stronger because of my wolf. That’s why I probably sensed it first.”

Stiles considered the answer and before Derek could say more he closed the door again and ran back to the kitchen. He started pacing again until he had the next question. So he went to the bedroom again. Each time he let Derek only answer the question. Nothing else. And Derek just sat there. Patiently answering his question. At some point the stream of question seemed to slow down and he felt calmer. Now that he had more answers he could see the situation with more clarity. And although he still thought it was a pretty shitty thing to do, he could more and more see why Derek had done it. He even realized that back then, mates or not, it wouldn’t have worked out between the two of them. He stopped pacing and arrived at his final question. This time he walked into the bedroom and sat down next to Derek on the bed. He took a deep breath and asked the last thing that was on his mind.

“What happens now?”

Derek looked at him with glee in his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Stiles thought about it for a second. But he couldn’t deny it. “Yeah, I trust you.”

Derek moved and put his hand around Stiles’ neck. He slowly moved forward and look at Stiles. Silently asking for his permission. Stiles nodded, he wanted this to happen so badly. And then Derek’s lips hit his. Although he knew the kiss was coming, it completely surprised him. It was sweet and tender, but with an edge of rawness that fitted Derek. Stiles felt the bond between the two of them forming. Like an invisible rope tied them together, tugging them closer to each other. When Derek eventually broke the kiss, Stiles didn’t know whether they had been doing that for seconds, hours or days. It honestly could have been either of those three. He looked Derek in the eyes while raking a hand through his soft, dark hair. For the first time in a long while he felt complete, happy even.

“You still haven’t answered the question though. What happens now?”

“We will figure it out.”

“Will the figuring out include a lot of making out?”

“Way to ruin the moment.” Derek said, but he started laughing. “I would be disappointed if it didn’t”

 

*** The End ***


End file.
